In this special edition of "Who is..." on Magic Untapped, we take a look at Asmoranomardicadaistinaculdacar (Asmor for short), the nearly impossible to pronounce and literal culinary wizard in Magic: The Gathering.
Enjoy the show.
<ON CAM INTRO>
She’s one of the oldest Magic: The Gathering side characters with probably the most difficult-to-pronounce name: Asmoranomardicadaistinaculdacar.
Say that five times fast. Actually, just once is probably enough…
Anyway, just who is this character?
Well, in this special edition of "Who Is..." on Magic Untapped, we take a look at this literal culinary wizard.
Asmoranomardicadaistinaculdacar (or simply Asmor in short) was a wizard and well-regarded cook from Dominaria who first appeared in the flavor text of a card in the original Alpha and Beta printings of Magic: The Gathering.
As the story goes, she once summoned a Lord of the Pit to assist her in a duel. Lords of the Pit are known to not be just power hungry, but just hungry in general. And this one, one who goes by the name Vincent, is no exception.
During the duel, Asmor simply ran out of things to feed it.
She escaped death herself by entering into his service back in Hell for seven years plus seven days, offering to feed him a new dish every meal so long as he didn’t eat her.
Vincent agreed, but only under the condition that if he ever became bored with her cooking that he’d have her as his next meal.
With the culinary skills and know-how that would even make the Mayor of Flavortown jealous, Asmor managed to surprise Vincent over the course of her servitude that he actually offered her a full-time job working as his personal chef without the whole threat of imminent death thing hanging over her head.
Asmor, however, just wanted to leave Hell, so, instead, Vincent just asked her to collect all her seven years and seven days worth of recipes for him before she left.
She agreed so long as she could make and sell copies of her cookbook in the overworld.
Only about 20 copies of the Underworld Cookbook were ever made, with excepts being found on cards such as:
- Granite Gargoyle: "While most overworlders fortunately don't realize this, gargoyles can be most delicious, providing you have the appropriate tools to carve them."
- Lightning Axe: "A gargoyle's meat can be carved with an ordinary cleaver, but for its petrous hide . . ."
- Sauté: "Selecting the proper beeble is the key to a good sauté. The pinker the fur and the heartier the yelp, the more succulent the beeble will be when you pop it in your mouth."
Only two of the books ever sold – one to Vincent and one to Asmor’s own mother.
Disgusted with the book’s lack of success, she instructed her imps to incinerate the remaining copies. The imps, however, were a bit of the lazy lot and simply chucked them away in the overworld.
<ON CAM TAG>
Eventually, the remaining copies were found and people started actually using her recipes. In fact, hers became the recipes of choice amongst Dominaria’s aristocracy.
As such, many of the beasts – ogres, goblins, wolves, etc. – that were described in the cookbook as delicious became prime hunting targets. Rightfully so, many of these races held a rather intense grudge against Asmor.
To get these creatures off her back, she wrote a sequel titled “1001 ways to prepare Elf.”
No word if that one ever got printed.
Thanks for watching this special episode of Who Is on Magic Untapped and please join us next month as we resume our series about the draconic planeswalker, Nicol Bolas.
I’m Barry White.